08 Aug Why Did You Ruin My Life Mom?
Obinna had recently gotten a job but the salary was meager.
He rented a small but neat apartment and decided to marry Oluchi who had been by his side while he was in the University.
He knew they would have to live on a tight budget but trusted that God would bless the work of his hands and cause him to prosper along the way.
Oluchi had happily taken him home to meet her mother so they could proceed with their wedding plans.
She got a rude shock when her mother blatantly refused Obinna on the grounds that Obinna is a struggling young man.
She had prayed that her daughter would marry a wealthy man with a nice big house, cars etcetera. Oluchi was therefore a disappointment for bringing someone like Obinna home to her.
Many attempts to get her mom to accept Obinna proved abortive. No one could talk to her nor reason with her.
Oluchi’s mom further ensured that she said and did things to separate her daughter and Obinna. Finally, she succeeded as Obinna and Oluchi, with heavy hearts, bade each other farewell.
Tony, Michael, Chibuzor all came one after the other to ask for Oluchi in marriage afterwards.
Her mom equally rejected them, for the same reason. They were not rich enough, therefore, not good enough for her daughter.
By now, Oluchi’s mom had made life difficult for her daughter for bringing “the wrong kind of men” home.
Therefore, for peace sake, Oluchi brings Frank, who fits the description of the wealthy son in law she prayed for home to introduce to her mom as her fiancé.
Oluchi knew that she did not really care for the man and deep down, knew he could not make her happy. However, she was tired of the cold treatments from her mother and had gotten to the point she just wanted to marry and move out of the house.
Dancing for joy, Oluchi’s mom congratulates her daughter and ended the cold shoulder she had been giving her daughter.
After the wedding, Oluchi tolerated her husband, whereas her mom enjoyed all the benefits of being an in law to a wealthy son in law.
After they had a child, things took a nose dive for Frank. He could no longer afford to stay in the nice big house, so they moved to a tiny apartment in a rickety part of town.
All the money and comfort was now gone. They could barely afford to eat. Sometimes, Oluchi had to go to her mom’s to obtain food or some money to fend for her family, especially for her little daughter.
On her way home from her mom’s one day, a car pulled up beside her. It was Obinna, her ex fiancé.
Obinna was shocked to see Oluchi so dishevelled and unkempt looking. He asked her to get in the car, asking directions to her home.
As he dropped her off, he made her confide in him and she narrated the difficulties that had befallen her within five short years.
Clearly, Oluchi had become a bitter and angry woman, filled with pain and regrets.
Obinna on the other hand had become financially comfortable, with a nice big house, nice cars and a happy and contented wife and kid.
Obinna drove off with a promise to return and when he did days afterwards: gave lots of money to Oluchi to start a business.
He brought lots of diapers, food, clothes, toys and drugs for Oluchi and Frank’s baby. He also bought food stuff in bulk for the family and even gave Oluchi money and food stuffs for her to give to her mother.
As Oluchi handed the items to her mom, she asked her mom why she ruined her life, weeping bitterly, a question her mother was too ashamed to answer.
Oluchi is now separated from her husband, raising their child alone, whereas Obinna and the other men she genuinely cared for after him have all moved on happily in matrimony.
Yvonne says: There is no denying the influence of mothers in our lives and the Bible commands us to honour and respect our parents, however, you cannot blame anyone for the outcome of your life. You have to take responsibility for your life: decisions, actions and reactions, even to parental counsel.
Oluchi’s mother’s reason for rejecting Obinna and the other men Oluchi genuinely cared for afterwards is wrong.
While I understand that no parent wants their child or children to experience lack, I frown at parents who push their child or children into matrimony for the sake of financial liberation and the power that comes with it, regardless of whether or not their child or children will be happy in the union.
Please, if you are presently doing that or intend to, Stop it. Remember that wealth can evaporate tomorrow.
As a parent, your concern should be the happiness, peace, well being and longevity of your child’s marital home.
I understand that money is important for all of these factors to fall in place but money is not and will never be a sole determinant of these.
Do not singlehandedly be the source of your child’s marital unfulfillment, frustration and failure.
Instead, pray for the prosperity and wealth of your child and his/her spouse, especially when you can see that he/she is someone going somewhere to happen.
I equally pray that God will help Oluchi (all real names withheld), heal from the pain and bitterness, forgive her mother and restore her marital life.
Her marital life may not be the best choice she made, but she is already in it.
May God’s grace reunite her and her husband and grant her inner peace and affection for her husband, as God’s grace teaches her husband to be the sort of man that she may grow to care deeply for or love someday.
May God also restore her husband’s finances.
I am certain that Oluchi’s mom will no longer interfere in their lives now.
May God help us all in Jesus name, Amen!
Until next time, I love you with the love of God! Shalom!
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